A life by any other name is still your crappy old life

I look throu my life and all I see is depressed unwanted wasted smear on the face to the planet. It truly is sad to think of myself in comparisson to those I think (or thought) of as friends -a term I do not throw around I am a miserable failure, but that doesn't stop me. I have to be good at something -right? I have to do it right, if not for myself, then for my kids. But the well [hope] has run dry and I can feel the onset of dehidration. I have a choice few, a few poeple I think are as close to friends as possable, but does that really help with my uselessness, with the constant mooching? is that really enough. One of these days I will get my life in order (even if it is the last three days of it). I just need some coffee, yeah, that's it coffee. I need more caffeine. -sigh, I can smell the beans already.